I understand that much of what I’m going to say next is not relatable. I understand I may be on the receiving end of many eye rolls to report that the parts of my life that seem the most glamorous come with their own set of valid drawbacks. We tend to envy the lives we think we want, and forget that every single path comes with it’s own obstacles. I have been guilty of it as well, so trust me, I get it. I get to go to fancy events with fancy people. I have a platform I wouldn’t have had without my boyfriend. I get to go on tour, which a younger version of myself would never even imagine. I’m aware of all this, and yet, I’m asking you to hear me out for a moment.
Touring is exciting, exhausting, fun, draining, unique, unpredictable, bonding and lonely all at the same time. It’s not a life for everyone. Some flourish within the nomadic lifestyle. Others…don’t. I would categorize myself as part of the latter. I’m a creature of habit. I like a routine. I’m a morning person. When on tour, you can pretty much throw habits, routines, and mornings out the window. It feels like calories don’t count on tour. You’re staying up late, making poor nutritional decisions, and every day is completely different.
It’s exciting. I feel so grateful to be able to have this chapter in my life. There are so many unforgettable memories made on that bus. There is so much laughter and support and genuine fun being had on tour. However, there are many moments that feel so foreign and so uncomfortable because of the way I am wired.
Being on tour with a job is one thing. Being on tour without a job is a completely separate experience. My purpose on tour is solely to be with my boyfriend. When I’m on the bus, I’m the only one there without a responsibility. And while that probably sounds great to some, there are moments when I feel like I’m just anxiously aimless.
I was on tour with Home Free for about two weeks at the end of September. It made sense to Adam and I as a couple because the tour started in California, my birthday fell in the middle of the next week, and because, funnily enough, we love each other and want to be around each other. Who knew?! With my new passion for film, and because I know that when I don’t have a task I can easily feel purposeless and disoriented, I decided to give myself an assignment. Every day on tour I would make sure to take at least one photograph. This gave me a job to do when I had no job to do. And that makes me feel so much less anxious.
I wanted to set out to capture what tour really feels like. What you’ll see below is a mixture of what I think makes each town beautiful, and what it feels like to be living on a bus and in dressing rooms across the country.
I hope what you take from this little blurb of mine is not that I am ungrateful, or unaware that I’m living a life others would be happy to live. Rather, I believe wholeheartedly in “every rose has its thorn.” I believe that everyone is dealing with something, and I’m so over the highlight reels we ingest as truth. I say this to point out that it is possible to be grateful for the life you are living while recognizing the struggles you face in this life. The more you recognize your own struggles, the more you can adjust to make it the best life you can.
I know that it is hard for me to be on tour without a job. So I gave myself one. I adjusted my actions to ease my personal struggles.
If you’re still with me, thanks for letting me bleed. It’s so healing for me to be able to analyze my thoughts and feelings in this way, and I feel so much more like a human when I get to share these sides of myself. And if I seem like I’m rambling, it’s only because I want to make sure I am not misunderstood.
As a thank you for your readership, I thought it would be fun to launch a little interactive contest between The Jones and Instagram. I love so many of the photos below, and will absolutely be posting some of them on Instagram after they’ve already been posted here. But that means redundancy for those of you who support me here. And that doesn’t seem fair! So for every photo I post on Instagram that has already been posted on The Jones, (aside from any photos of myself or Adam) there’ll be a titling contest in the comment section of that Instagram. Hit me with your best. Title the photo, and after 24 hours I will pick my favorite submission, and the winner will receive a signed print of said photo with their title.
Good luck!
Now, without further ado, the Tour Diaries!
Fresno, California 9/18
Cerritos, California 9/19
Bakersfield, California 9/20
Full disclosure: I’m not super proud of this photo by any means. I actually don’t like it at all and almost didn’t include it. But if I only showed all of my successful photos here, I’d feel disingenuous. It’s not the same as Instagram for me. These are the diaries after all. You don’t edit a diary. Plus, we spent so many hours in the car on the day of the Bakersfield show, that even if it’s not the prettiest photo, it’s an accurate glimpse of our day, which is what this is more about.
San Diego, California 9/21
This cute little marina man cleaning the boats melted my lil heart.
I rarely ask Adam to take photos of me. I don’t super care to be in front of the camera. But I loved my outfit and I felt pretty and why am I justifying my boyfriend taking a photo of me?
Tuscon, Arizona 9/22
Midland, Texas 9/23-9/24
We were in Midland for two days and this is the only photo I have to show for it because this is the day I fell really ill with a nasty respiratory infection. Fun!
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 9/25
This was my very first pawn shop experience! There was a dog! I fed him a chip!
Houston, Texas 9/26
Dallas, Texas 9/27
This. This is what tour feels like. Alone in a dressing room. Dirty hair, leggings, and a three wolf moon tee shirt that you’ve been wearing for days. Taking in the calm before the storm. I always pictured musicians on tour to be just raging 24/7, but so much of it is just finding quiet moments to recharge.
You can keep your flowers and your chocolates. The most romantic thing Adam does is when he just picks up a camera and takes a photo of me. He makes me feel like a beauty, and maybe that’s a little shallow, but it’s so meaningful to me.
San Antonio, Texas 9/28
Austin, Texas 9/29
Well, that concludes the Tour Diaries! Let me know what your favorite photo is, and remember that it’s okay to feel anxious or sad or frustrated, no matter your status in life. In fact, those moments are inevitable. What is important is not to sit passively in those lows. Be proactive. Know the difference between opening up and just complaining. Take charge of your own life.
Have a happy weekend folks! Take care of yourselves, and don’t forget to participate in the contest! Keep your eyes peeled. xo