Did you miss me?

I bet you thought I'd given up on this little website.  I bet you thought you'd never again have to see one of my awful attempts at self promotion linking you to this page via Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.  Maybe you were disappointed, maybe you were relieved, maybe you didn't even notice.  Well joke's on you!  You can't get away from me that easy!  I'm like that incessant ex we all have that pops out of the woodwork every once in a while just to remind us that we'll never be rid of them.  

I have thought and feared about my absence from this outlet I love so much pretty much every day since my last blog post went up in Mid-July.  I have no excuse good enough for how long it's been.  Not that you were sitting here refreshing my page every few minutes for the last three months awaiting the arrival of a new blog post from yours truly, but I feel the need to explain.  

From just about the moment I got off the plane at LAX (don't do it don't do it.....WITH A DREAM AND A CARDIGAN...I'm sorry...I hate me, too.) from my summer trip to Jersey, I've been on a serious grind in the least sarcastic use of that word possible.  I literally got hired at a new job that next day, and it seems like every day since a new responsibility (or what feels like another hurdle) pops up.  Even as I began to craft this post several weeks ago, I felt guilty because I SHOULD have been editing a video for Home Free, another responsibility I'd taken on.  But when that writing itch appears, I've got to scratch it.  

I know a few of my people back home have not so patiently been waiting for this post, (LOOKIN AT YOU SPRINGER) and while I know I usually recount trips like these on my blog in detail, I've decided against it this time.  So much time has passed since this trip, I don't want to spend too much of my present day trying to piece together two weeks of my life that happened three months ago.  

What is worth mentioning is that I spent thirteen fun-filled and heartwarming days in my favorite places on Earth: the Jersey Shore, my home, and New York City.  I was surrounded by friends and family 100% of my visit, although sadly I didn't get to see everyone I wanted to.  Memories were created, people surprised me, many laughs were had, drinks were shared, and all the hugs.

In the weeks leading up to my trip home, the only plans I had set were that I'd be attending the wedding of one of my oldest and dearest friends (which is the whole reason I flew home anyway), and that I'd be spending a good majority of the rest of my time in my favorite place to let loose, the Jersey Shore, made popular by MTV'S "The Jersey Shore," made wonderful by literally everything but that.  What I did NOT know is that one of my best friends (hi Sar love you) would surprise me at the airport and upon arrival have a plan for the next three days in which a few of our friends would meet us at my shore house for three days of all-day-boozin, deathdrops, and debauchery. I don't know what I did to deserve them, but I'm a lucky girl.

If you know nothing else about me, know that the Jersey Shore is the most precious place in the world to me.  You can make fun of pretty much anything else about me, but do NOT come for my home state.  When people make fun of New Jersey I literally feel like they are shit talking a family member. (I literally have never sounded more like I'm from New Jersey than I do right now.)  But I mean come on!  Look at it!  Nothing makes me happier than being here.  

These two photos make me laugh so much.  It looks like my father is very upset about something and my cousin Matt is consoling him.  Just imagine it, "I clearly said I wanted the PINK lollipop and he grabbed it and left me with ORANGE!"  "It's okay Uncle Ricky, there'll be more lollipops." "You're right Matt, thanks. It's just hard y'know?" "I know."

Try and argue with me now that New Jersey isn't a beautiful state.  God, I love it so much it's disgusting.

Literally someone needs to put us in a cage.

Being with the people who became my family in college always makes me feel so fuzzy inside.  I wish money wasn't a factor and I could fly my friends out to LA whenever I wanted, because I feel most at home no matter where I am as long as I'm with them.  

July 4th was spent at a backyard party in Alphabet City with my favorite dude, and we watched the fireworks from a rooftop and I got the New York feels.  Man is it hard to be away from this city.  Could someone make me famous now so I can move back already?

I have been friends with Kristin for twenty years.  Our friendship, however, is just as fresh as it is old.  I still think she's the funniest person I know, and every time we get to hang out, it's non stop laughter and sisterhood.  We went to Hoboken, drank, gossiped, laughed, and sang loudly to Bruce Springsteen, which is pretty standard for us.  It's so fun to grow up with someone and still be obsessed with them.  

What would a trip home be without a day in the city with my family? We walked around the West Village, laughed a lot, ate the yummiest dinner at The Little Owl, which for all you 'Friends' fans out there, is located on the first floor of the apartment building used as the exterior for Monica and Chandler's apartment!  Next time you're in the city you have to eat there, and say hello to the goddess that is Amy the hostess (aka one of my best friends) and tell her I love her.  Also, for dessert, order her cookies because they're heaven on Earth.  

The day I flew home to be there for arrives.  My little Shmels (that's Kelsey to you people) says I do to the man of her dreams and I get to be there to witness it.  
Kelsey and I met in dance class when we were just tiny little humans.  We became like sisters to one another, and to this day, she is still one of the most influential people in my life.  She is two years older than me, so naturally, growing up, I wanted to be her.  I'd literally be doing something and think "What would Kels do?"  Seriously, she was my best friend but also my role model, and I believe that having her to look up to led me away from some terrible choices I could have made. 
Back in the day, we were both bridesmaids in our dance teacher, Susie's wedding, and on the way to the wedding we talked about how crazy it's going to be when one of us actually gets married.  Fast forward to July 10, 2016, and I am sitting in the third row of chairs on the bride's side, watching a person so special to me have the best day of her life.  Cue the tears.  It was a wonderful night, full of love and so much dancing, to celebrate a beautiful couple.  

Yes, I know this picture of us is super grainy and yes, that's because it's a cell phone photo that Shmels took of the image on her computer and sent to me, and it's too precious not to post but Shmels, if you're reading this, I literally check Facebook every day to see if the photo album went up.  Just like the old days when I'd pester you to put photos up until you caved.  I'm so annoying, I know.  But you love meee :)

Also, the lady to my right who, moments before this photo, instructed me to place my hand on my hip, is my smoke show of a dance teacher.  She was the first person who believed in me who I wasn't related to, and I'm so grateful to her.

People would sometimes mistake us for mother and daughter, and even sisters, and I was low key stoked every time.  I don't know who I'd be if I never followed Susie when she opened up her own dance studio all those years ago.

I could go on an on about my favorite place, about my favorite smells, my favorite meals, my favorite people, my favorite accents.  I could ramble about it all day, but then I wouldn't be able to be present and enjoy where I am at right now.  Every time I go home is a life affirming trip, because it reminds me why I left.  I left New Jersey to make life better for myself and for my family.  I left New Jersey to make the dreams I've had since I was performing concerts in my living room for my parents at age 3 a reality.  I left New Jersey so that one day, I will be able to return in success.  I left New Jersey so I could miss New Jersey.  

As hard as it is every day to be so detached from my home base, I've honestly never felt more attached.  I'm proud to be from New Jersey, I'm proud to be from the family I'm from, proud to have the friendships I do, and every time I leave, I get to look forward to the next trip, and it never feels that far away.  

See you in December, east coast!

And, if you made it this far, thank you for allowing me to take some time to work on me, so that I could come back and write confidently!  I've been playing with my camera so much these days and I can't wait to start showing you what I've been up to these past three months!! (Aside from slaving away at my new job and scrounging up every penny I have, since that's what my life has predominantly consisted of.  ADULTHOOD IS FUN, KIDS.)

Have a beautiful weekend and year and life. See you soon!

Xo