As some of you may know, I was just home on a little Los Angeles hiatus. I had been planning to fly home for a wedding in Philly, and then I lost my job, so I figured, hey, fuck it, and booked my return flight for two weeks later.
I've lost a job before. The last time I lost a job, it was at the hand of bitter management who wanted the easiest, cheapest way out of sticky situations, and favored employees who did not challenge them. It is in my blood to challenge corrupt authority (I have my father to thank for that), so needless to say it did not work out for me.
The next time I lost a job, just about two weeks ago, it was at the hand of a greedy landlord who wanted the most money in the fastest and slimiest way possible. I've worked at restaurants now for four years. It's become part of who I am. It's the best way for a dreamer to make some easy and consistent money and find a circle of people to have in unexplainable bond with.
But this past year, I kept finding myself having a harder time walking into my restaurant day after day. It had absolutely nothing to do with the staff. Ask almost anyone who works at a restaurant: your coworkers become a second family. Ours was no different. However, there's something about realizing you've been working as a server for four years, combined with the fact that you're reaching a birthday you've been dreading all year, that makes someone ordering you around for an hour and a half only to leave you with a 5% tip that just makes you all but ready to blow up.
I had been feeling very much so at the end of my rope there and with life in general, and then, like magic, our trip to Disney World arrived and completely lifted my spirits and revitalized my heart. I expected to walk back into Palomino with a recharged positivity and a bubbly demeanor. And then I walked in. Immediately hit with stress and disappointment, I could feel my patience wearing thin. Not with my customers, not with my management or coworkers, but with my days in the service industry as a whole. Palomino was supposed to be my "last serving job" that I'd stay at until "I start booking roles and don't need to serve anymore." That's pretty much the mantra that kept me there through our dead seasons, through the shittiest tippers, through the absurd requests and complaints. It was the love for one another and the promise that I would never again apply for another server position.
And then they told us we were losing our jobs.
I have been working for Home Free as a video editor for about a year now. They're friends of mine who just so happen to be incredibly talented artists and who just so happen to have a new album out! They also just so happen to trust me enough to let me edit their behind the scenes videos. Turns out, I kind of have a knack for it and the guys love what I've been able to do and it feels like only the beginning.
So, when Olena and I were talking one night about how even though we just left Disney we already missed each other, she brought up the idea of me flying out to Minnesota to be another needed hand on set for a few music video shoots. Being as I would be losing my job in a few short weeks, I thought: why the hell not?! Packed my bags and less than 24 hours later I was there.
The first day we filmed "God Blessed Texas," which they recorded and shot to raise money for Hurricane Harvey relief. Since the music video took place as the track was being recorded, our location was their recording studio inside their producer Darren's house. My job that day was to film BTS footage that I would later edit, and since I had never been the one filming for those videos, I found a whole new enjoyment in being an editor! I was able to think ahead, set up shots that I knew I'd want at certain spots, and get angles and close-ups that I'd never be able to get otherwise. I've always just received footage and had to work with it. Getting to start my process with being the one to get the footage was pretty thrilling for me, and also it was just fun to finally be in on the on-set fun that I normally just get to watch from my couch on a computer screen.
I barely took photos that day because I was so consumed with getting footage, but I got some shots on our little drives and in Darren's backyard and you guys. Minnesota is pretty beautiful.
The next day we filmed the video for "Mayday," which hasn't been released yet but you Home Fries are in for a treat. I was so stupidly obsessed with the venue we shot at that immediately I pulled Austin and started taking photos.
I love this shot I grabbed of Jimmy filming Austin. So much of the Home Free family consists of the people working so hard behind the cameras or backstage, the ones you don't get to see very often. Everyone's combined effort is what makes shoots like these a success. Working for Home Free has been such a blessing from day one, because it's essentially like getting paid to hang out with a group of your most talented friends.
Here's me just doin my thing and lovin it so hard.
These are mine, Olena's, Austin's, and Chance's cowboy boots, because we're corny and because we're country. Well, they're country; Olena and I are just wannabes.
This photo to the right looks like someone walked right in front of me and stole the focus from the guys, but it's actually the legs of Jacob, the music video director. He has really been changing the game for these guys as far as music video caliber goes. It was so special to get to watch him carry out his unique vision, and be such a down to earth, goofball of a dude at the same time.
Possibly the most rewarding experience of all was getting to be my best friend's teammate these three days. When she saw a photo to be taken, I filmed. And vice versa. We have always been like a friendship team, but to actually get to put our creative minds together was really incredibly special. And then we also got to shoot each other which is the most fun of all.
And then we wrapped and Austin, Olena, Chance, Jimmy and I went to dinner. There was this great song playing and Austin and I were using competing apps to try to place that song, and Chance took a photo of us in that moment. He pointed out that we look like some piece of modern art. Look at the extension of Austin's arm. The DRAMA. I call this one, "Siri, what song is this?"
And then it was day three! We filmed, "It Looks Good," one of the originals on the album, and one of my favorite, mostly because of the memories I have attached to it. We filmed at this place called The Doublewide, which had locals actually drinking amongst our chaos. We were having some drinks, a lot of laughs, and I got to actually be in the video! So look out for me when it comes out ;)
This photo makes me laugh so much because I set Olena up in this spot and was taking photos of her so of course she was being all model-y, and then Chance snuck up behind her and the juxtaposition of how serious she is taking herself and how not seriously Chance is taking himself in such close proximity made me actually almost pee my pants.
I've said it before and I'll keep saying it: life gives you exactly what you need. I was losing my drive, losing my creativity, literally losing my job when I got this opportunity. Why was it so special? Well aside from making memories with friends of mine, I was being paid to use my mind creatively. I was starting to feel like, "Oh shit. I'm about to be 26. I'm still serving, I'm not SAG, I don't have representation, I'm still single, can I even still act, have I actually ever been good..." and down the rabbit hole we go. And then here I am, with a bunch of people believing not just in myself but specifically in my artistic eye, that lit a fire in me. No, I don't want to be a server anymore. No, I don't want to get you a hot water with lemon. I want to be exercising my mind to become the most well-rounded and talented artist I can be. And it's opportunities like this that are going to get me there.
I was so sad to leave and I already can't wait until the next time I get to work with these guys. They're really something special!
I leave you today with this awkward selfie of Olena and I because it's way too close for comfort but I love it and I love her so much.
Have a great rest of your Wednesday!
XO